作者：李威廉老师
链接：美国加州大学的申请文书怎么写？ - 李威廉老师的回答
来源：小社区
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2017年 美国加州大学系统的文书要求从下面的8道题目中选择4道题目：
（答主私人微信号:Liweilianlaoshi, 需要转载请联系我稿费事宜，本人长期咨询留学考试辅导和留学申请指导，长期在小社区解答问题）。
What do you want UC to know about you? Here’s your chance to tell us inyour own words.
Directions
- You will have 8 questions to choose from. You must respond to only 4 of the 8 questions.
- Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
- Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you: But you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.
Keep in mind
- All questions are equal: All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
- There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions: It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.
Questions & guidance
Remember, the personal questions are just that — personal. Which means youshould use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you needhelp. The important thing is expressing who are you, what matters to youand what you want to share with UC.
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you havepositively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to groupefforts over time. (领导力证明的例子)
Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title.It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of aspecific task, or a taking lead role in organizing an event or project. Thinkabout your accomplishments and what you learned from the experience. Whatwere your responsibilities?
Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective onleading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school,church in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn’tnecessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do youhelp out or take care of your family?
解析：Remember开头的那句话翻译是要记住，所有这些问题都只是要体现个人的东西。我们所给出的针对每个问题的写作指引只是作为你需要帮助时候的一些建议。最重要的是要把你是谁，你在乎的和其他想分享与我们的事情表达出来。
第一题：Describe an example of your leadership experience in whichyou have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributedto group efforts over time. 描述一次对他人有积极影响，解决过矛盾纠纷和在团队中有过较长时间的贡献的领导力经历。
解析：领导者不仅仅是一个头衔。它可以意味着指导他人，负责具体一项任务，或者在组织活动中发挥领导作用。想一下你的成就和你从这个经历中学到了什么？你的职责是什么？
你曾经领导过一个团队吗？你的经历是否改变了你对领导力的看法？你是否在学校、社区教堂或社团组织中帮助他人解决过重要纠纷？同时，领导力也不一定局限在学校内的活动。比如说，你是否曾帮助照顾过你的家庭成员？
思考：想想你会如何定义“leader” ，写出三个你觉得适合描述leader的词。
这些词适用于你吗？你有在什么时候展现过这些特质吗？
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways:problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name afew. Describe how you express your creative side.（创造力描述）
Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you havea creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do withthat skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution?What are the steps you took to solve the problem?
How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside theclassroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career?
每个人都有创造力的一面，可以通过很多形式表现出来：解决问题，创新思维和艺术创造力等。描述一次能展现你创造力一面的经历。
解析：创造力对你来说意味着什么？你是否有一项很重要的创新技能？你能用这项技能做什么？如果你曾经用创造力解决过问题，你当时的解决办法是什么？你采取了哪些步骤来解决这个问题？
你的创造力在课堂内外是如何影响你的决策的？它跟你的专业或者未来的职业有联系吗？
思考：创意对你来说意味着什么？你有哪些特别的技能对你而言很重要？你通过这些技能达成了哪些成就？
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have youdeveloped and demonstrated that talent over time? （特殊技能和能力）
Things to consider: If there’s a talent or skill that you’re proud of, thisis the time to share it. You don’t necessarily have to be recognized or havereceived awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talkabout, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?
Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop thisskill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in oroutside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into yourschedule?
描述自己最大的天赋和能力以及你是如何发展它们的。解析：如果你有一项引以为豪的天赋或能力，现在是时间与我们分享一下了。你不必通过奖项来证明你的才能（当然，如果你确实获得过奖项，也可以在这里分享一下）。为什么这项才能对你来说很重要。
这项才能是天生的还是通过你后天的努力慢慢发展的？它是否给你在课堂内外带来了机遇？如果有，那它给你带来了哪些机遇，这些机遇又是怎样融入你的日常生活学习中的？思考：列出三个你的才能。几年前你的才能也是同样的这三个吗？有什么变动或者改进吗？你觉得最有意义，对你最重要的是哪个，以及你是天生就有这项才能的还是通过后天的努力才获得的？
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educationalopportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.（成功的教育机会和被克服的教育障碍，结合自身性格和技能来克服这个障碍）
Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that hasadded value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college.For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, orenrollment in an academy that’s geared toward an occupation or a major, ortaking advanced courses that interest you — just to name a few.
If you choose to write about educational barriers you’ve faced, how didyou overcome or strived to overcome them? What personal characteristics orskills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming thisbarrier help shape who are you today?
第四题：Describe how you have taken advantage ofa significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educationalbarrier you have faced.描述一次你如何利用好重要的教育机会或战胜教育相关的困难的经历.
解析：一个教育机会可以是能使你的教育体验增值以及能让为你上大学做更好准备。例如，参加一个荣誉项目，参加职业或专业相关的学会，或者学习一些你感兴趣的高级课程，等等。
如果你选择写你遇到的学术困难，那你是怎样克服或者努力克服这些困难的？你是依靠自身的哪些个人特点或技巧来克服这个挑战的？克服困难的过程又是怎样塑造了现在的你？
思考：列出任何你为大学学业做准备的额外课程或者暑期项目。谈谈你在这些课程中遇到的障碍或是找到的机遇，无论是哪一个都是你宝贵的经历。你是如何找到这些额外课程的以及它对你平时校内的学习有哪些帮助？
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps youhave taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected youracademic achievement? （最大的挑战，学业上，事业上，爱好上都可以）
Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you havefaced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you?This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you’ve faced and whatyou’ve learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else ordid you handle it alone?
If you’re currently working your way through a challenge, what are youdoing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example,ask yourself, “How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends,or with my family?”
描述一次你曾面临过最重大的一次挑战，以及如何战胜挑战，此次经历对你的学业表现有何影响？
解析：挑战可以是个人的，也可以是你在社区或学校中遇到的。这次挑战为什么对你来说很重要？这是一个能够让你谈论遇到的任何困难以及你从中学到什么的很好的机会。这个过程有他人帮助吗，还是你独自应对的？如果你现在正在应对一次挑战，那你现在都在做些什么？这有没有影响到你生活的其他方面？例如，问问你自己，“在家里，学校里，与朋友之间，与家人之间，我的生活都发生了怎样的变化？”
思考：你人生中遇到过哪些困难的经历，你是如何克服并且学习到经验的？如果你眼前正在应对一个挑战，你会怎么面对？这个挑战从哪些方面改变了你？
6. Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it hasinfluenced you.（ 最喜欢的学术科目，为什么对你影响很大？）
Things to consider: Discuss how your interest in the subject developedand describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom —such as volunteer work, summer programs, participation in student organizationsand/or activities — and what you have gained from your involvement.
Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/orcareer? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in thissubject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)?
第六题：Describe your favorite academic subjectand explain how it has influenced you.描述你最喜欢的学科、解释该学科对你的影响.
解析：说一下你对这个科目的兴趣是怎样形成的。描述一下你在课堂内外都有哪些经历——比如志愿者工作，暑期课程，学生社团和活动——你在参与的过程中都获得了什么。对这一科目的兴趣有影响到你选择某个专业或职业吗？你是否寻求在这一科目更高水平的学习（荣誉课程，AP, IB，大学课程）？
思考：你选择的这门课不一定是要你特别擅长，分数高的。你只需要要选择一门你很享受的或是对你影响很大的课程。
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a betterplace? （对于学校，社区所做的贡献，为集体做的贡献）
Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass agroup, team or a place – like your high school, hometown, or home. You candefine community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role inthat community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?
Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort?How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you workalone or with others to initiate change in your community?
你曾做过对你的学校和社区有益的事情吗？
解析：社区可以是一个小组，队或者一个地方。比如你的高中，家乡，家庭等。你可以把它定义成任何你觉得合适的内容，谈一下你在这个社区里的角色。在你的社区里是否有一个你想要解决的问题？什么事情激发了你要去做些改变？你从自己的努力中学到了什么？你的行动是如何让他人或更大的社区受益的？这件事是你一个人发起的还是和其他人一起去进行的？思考：你对你的学校或者社区做出过哪些贡献？你是怎么一步步实现它的？你是受什么启发来采取行动的？通过你的努力，你学到了一些什么？
8. What is the one thing that you think sets you apart from other candidatesapplying to the University of California? （最能体现你与众不同的点是什么？）
Things to consider: Don’t be afraid to brag a little. Even if you don’tthink you’re unique, you are — remember, there’s only one of you in the world.From your point of view, what do you feel makes you belong on one of UC’scampuses? When looking at your life, what does a stranger need to understand inorder to know you?
What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent,challenge, or opportunity that you think will help us know you better? We’renot necessarily looking for what makes you unique compared to others, but whatmakes you, YOU.
什么是区别于你和其他申请加州大学的申请者的地方？
解析：不要不好意思自夸。即使你认为自己不独特，那也要记住，你是世界上独一无二的。你觉得是什么使你觉得你属于加州大学的一员？回顾你的生活，你觉得陌生人为了了解你需要知道些什么？为了帮助我们更好地了解你，你还有哪些没有提到的，可以突出你的才能，天赋，挑战或机遇的？我们不一定是说了解一下你与其他人相比有哪些独特的地方，但是我们需要知道是什么使你独一无二。思考：别怕太过吹嘘自己。你也许不觉得你自己很特别，但事实是你是独一无二的。发生在你身上的所有事情都在改变着你，你的家庭生活，学校生活。你可以先从这些列表入手：列出你的三个特质、你生活中重视的一些品质、你感到热情的事情、你已经拥有的并且珍惜的事物。
写作提示：给出一些写作方法的建议：
Here are some tips and techniques to help you get started.
Start early.
Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition andrevisions.
Write persuasively.
Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessenthe impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concreteexamples to support the points you want to make.
Use “I” statements.
Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents,accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my”statements in your responses.
Proofread and edit.
Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentencestructure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear.Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in theway of what you’re trying to communicate.
Solicit feedback.
Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone,but others — family, teachers and friends — can offer valuable suggestions. Askadvice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print oronline and do not use anyone's published words but your own.
Copy and paste.
Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII)and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once moreto make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.
Relax.
This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing yourapplication. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admissiondecision will not be based on this section alone.
Additional instructions for active military, veterans anddependants (服兵役的问题，家庭成员，爸爸妈妈，兄弟姐妹的服兵役的事情)
Because UC is interested in knowing about your or a family member'smilitary service, you may wish to use this section to communicate thefollowing:
- Describe how your military service has been instrumental in developing your educational plans.
- Indicate if you're affiliated with the military, such as the spouse or dependent of someone who is on active duty or a current participant in an ROTC-type program.
What about the “Additional comments” section?
After you complete the personal insight questions, you will see anothersection called “Additional Comments.” This is an optional section and should notbe used as a continuation of your responses to the personal questions. Instead,you should use this section to:
- Provide additional clarification on important details in your application, such as honors, awards, activities.
- Share information regarding a nontraditional school environment or unusual circumstances.
- Describe anything else that you HAVE NOT had the opportunity to include elsewhere in your application.
There is a 550 word limit to this section.
还有四个问题值得各位关注：
1、Are you assessing thequality or content of the writing in these responses?你们评估文书的内容和质量吗？
官方回答：The personalstatement section was never a test to assess a student’s writing ability. Thesame holds true for the new personal questions. The personal questions sectionis where students should express themselves, and let their unique voices andpersonalities shine through.
However, studentsshould always put their best foot forward and make sure their writing isorganized in a clear and thoughtful manner. Students should give themselvesplenty of time to prepare, carefully compose and revise their answers. Typos,grammatical or spelling errors can be distracting to the application readersand get in the way of what applicants are trying to communicate.
解析：文书从来不是用来判断一个学生的写作能力，新的文书题目同样也不是。文书是让学生来展示自己，表达出他们独特的想法和个人特质。
然而，学生的文书还是应该清晰有理，给人留下一个好的印象。学生应该花大量的时间来准备、创作和修改他们的文书。因为诸如错别字、语法或拼写错误之类的会分散读者的注意力从而妨碍他们理解学生想要表达的内容。
2、Ihave some students who have already started drafting their personal statementbased on the previous prompts. What should I tell these students? 我有些学生现在已经开始根据以前的题目写PS了，我该跟这些学生说些什么呢？
官方回答：In some cases, the workstudents have already prepared can help inform their answers to the newquestions. Students may find that they have touched upon many of the newquestion topics at a broad level in the existing personal statement prompts.
However,it’s in students’ best interest to familiarizethemselves with the new questions and make sure their answers align with what’s being asked – which is much more specificthan the prompts. They should express their personalities, backgrounds,interests and achievements in their own unique voices –which means content, not writing style, is of utmost importance and should bethe main focus of their answers.
解析：在某些情况下，学生已经做的准备工作其实对回答今年的新题目还是有帮助的。学生可能会发现，在广泛的层面上，从原来的题目里，学生已经接触了部分的新题目。然而，对于学生来说首要任务是充分理解新题并且确保自己的回答和题目匹配。学生应该以他们自己独有的声音去展示自己的个性特点，背景，兴趣爱好和成就。所以说，在学生回答问题的时候，至关重要的是内容，而不是写作风格。
3、Whyis one of the questions required for transfer students?为什么这些题目中，有一道题是转学生必写的？
官方回答：Since all campusesreview transfer students specifically with consideration to their major, weneeded a direct question about major preparation. This question is similar tothe previous transfer personal statement prompt that has been asked over thelast several years. And, although freshmen could choose to write about theirintended major, the majority of first-year students are not admitted directlyinto a major.
解析：因为加州所有校区审核转学生时都是要考虑学生专业，所以我们需要一个专门问学生专业的题目。这个题目和之前连续好多年没变的转学PS很相似。虽然大一新生可以选择去写关于他们欲修的专业，但是大多数大一新生是不会直接被录取到某一个专业下面的。
4、Canapplicants answer more than four questions?申请者可以回答四个以上的问题吗？
官方回答：No. Freshman applicantsmust answer four out of the eight questions, and transfer applicants mustanswer the one required question plus any three of the seven additionalquestions. Applicants also cannot use the additional comments section as aplace to answer more than the four personal insight questions.
解析：不可以。新生申请必须从八个问题中选取四个作答。转学生必须回答一个必答问题和七个附加问题中的任意三个问题。申请者也不能利用补充信息的地方回答除了那四个必答题之外的其他问题。
以下是招生官给申请者书写essay的15条建议，建议申请2017年入学的同学认真研读一下：
1、整理所有要申请的大学，列出每所大学的申请文题目要求，标注出相似性。不要担心现在就要完成所有的写作，一篇申请文可以变化成多个版本，可以运用到很多地方还需要一些过程。最重要的是潜意识地理解问题，这样就可以一直头脑风暴，随身携带纸和笔，因为你从来不知道何时会有好的想法。
2、研究和理解写作的主题-你自己，才能思考如何写作。如果你仅仅是坐下来写，没有对主题进行深思熟虑，那么你很有可能遇到写作障碍，文思枯竭。你也许认为你很了解你自己，但是为了最大程度地了解自己，你需要反思，并且把它写出来。
3、自我评估。你看到多少个版本，是否有什么特别的主题？确定你的兴趣，才能以及动机，需要一定的时间，不一定要一次完成。例如：你有想帮助需要帮助的人的意愿吗？有投身于公共服务的渴望吗？有与生俱来的经商才能吗？
4、决定用什么材料向大学展现你自己。（根据不同学校的申请文要求以及你对自己的定位，所呈现的材料会不同）。思考申请文的问题，给出答案，思考一段时间，接下来能产生更多的想法。简单记下来所有的小点，否则你会忘记。
5、阅读其他成功的申请文，了解什么样的申请文是优秀的，谨记那些有创意的想法。
6、选择其中一篇申请文试着先写作一下。基于现有的素材，构建文章的中心思想，找到相应的支持论点，然后以列提纲的形式把这些内容表达出来。
7、在某个时间限制内完成申请文的初稿。要接受初稿是不可能完美的事实，这个阶段最重要的是要把你的想法转移到纸上，之后再进行提炼和修改。申请文一般需要经过一次或两次修改才能得到最终稿。如果你想要写出优秀的申请文，这个过程是需要时间的。此外，往往失败的申请文中也包含很多有价值的想法。因此，修改申请文非常重要。
8、完成初稿后，搁置几天。远离申请文一段时间会给你带来一定的客观性。如果需要的话，你可以开始另外一篇申请文，经历相同的过程。
9、寻找你尊重其观点的人，让他们阅读你的申请文，并且给出反馈意见。问他们一些问题，例如：申请文的亮点是什么？你最喜欢哪部分？你要修改什么？你记得哪些词和短语？你还想多了解哪方面？这篇文章展现了我是一个什么样的人？我想要表达的主旨是什么？
10、大声地阅读申请文，你会惊奇的发现你的耳朵可以识别错误的语法，拙劣的表达及其他。
11、着重申请文的开头和结尾。开头需要抓住读者的兴趣。几种开头的方式：以有趣或是不寻常的事实或细节开头；以奇闻轶事或故事开头；使用有意思的引用；评价有报道价值的或众所周知的事件。几种结尾的方式：总结所阐述的观点；总结然后推断未来；总结申请文中一些潜在的蕴意。
12、改写？为什么？相对于初稿来说，难忘的写作来自于改写。修改必然会提高写作的质量。
13、校正申请文，至少几遍。检查语法，标点，拼写以及其他机器错误。一个屡试不爽的方法是从后往前读。
14、请记住你也是申请团队的一部分。
15、申请文确认无误，润色完成后，就可以提交了。
（答主私人微信号:Liweilianlaoshi, 需要转载请联系我稿费事宜，本人长期咨询留学考试辅导和留学申请指导，长期在小社区解答问题）。
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