我不知道该做什么努力了,我第一次感觉到“无力感”。以前高中时候,考试考差了,可以拼命学习,奋力追赶,总能把难题解决。可是这次,我不知道高智商高情商有何用! 有个屁用!我发现自己还有如此脆弱的一面,这么不堪一击!
从小到大,一直没有认输过。相信“没有什么不可能”,相信“人定胜天”,但是在他面前,我承认我败了,我怂了。他真的是佛祖派来的吗?让我顿悟“诸事无常”?
心情一直都是阴郁的,上课没法专心,做什么事都没有兴致。有一次要登台演出,我决定唱一首《I Don't Want to Say Goodbye》,这首歌是当时一部电影的主题曲,由于这部电影在海外拿了大奖,引起了我的关注。不过,国内对这部电影报道不多,因为题材敏感,所以知道这首歌的人并不多,也不会了解这首歌和哪部电影有关。这首歌不好唱,无论是英文发音还是旋律的音高,都是挑战。但是因为这首歌是我的心声,所以很快就学会了。登台那天,我多么希望能在舞台上看到他坐在下面,就像过去一样。
前奏响起,我登台,扫了一眼观众席,没有他。
唱到最后,由副歌转入主歌时,尤其这句:
“ 'Cause I dont want to say goodbye.
Let the stars shine through.
No, I don't want to say goodbye
All I want to do is love with you. ”
情绪有些失控,有了哭腔,随即啜泣。
最后一个音唱完后,我用手擦了擦眼泪,鞠躬致谢。
虽然有几个地方跑调了,但是却得到了最热烈的掌声。观众们也许是看我哭了吧,觉得我很动情,也感染了他们,反而没有苛责技术层面的东西。
掌声热烈,我却麻木。
这首歌,我最期待的那个听众没有来,怅然若失感,久久萦绕。
这首歌从此以后就是我的软肋,只要听到前奏,我就会鸡皮疙瘩满身。多听一会儿,就会哭。歌曲旋律轻快,但是透出淡淡的忧伤,充满回忆的味道,尤其是三拍子的节奏,让人的思念回旋往复……
I don't want to say goodbye
Let the stars shine through.
I don't want to say goodbye
All I want to do is love with you.
Just like the light of the morning
After the darkness has gone
The shadow of my love is falling
On a place where the sun always shone.
Don't you know thats where our hearts both belong?
'Cause I dont want to say goodbye.
Let the stars shine through.
No, I don't want to say goodbye
All I want to do is love with you.
Together our two hearts are strong
Don't you know know that's where our hearts both belong?
'Cause I dont want to say goodbye
Let the stars shine through.
I don't want to say goodbye
All I want to do is love with you
All I want to do is love with you